新的領導者，要動得比你想像的慢

當你開始領導角色時，有壓力去證明你自己，通過快速起步，及早贏得勝利。但是，如果人們感覺到你在做出改變，而沒有經過思考，或者沒有得到他們的意見，你就不可能成功。這就是為什麼你需要放慢速度，尤其是在你的互動中。

與新同事交談時，重複你所聽到的，既要證實你的理解，又要證明你在聽。問小組反思性的問題，比如：“剛才發生了什麼？”“和”我們從中可以學到什麼？這些問題迫使停頓，防止討論匆忙作出决定。不要害怕使用沉默。

在你說話之前停下來讓你有機會權衡替代方案並决定最好的應對管道。它還促使其他人想知道你的想法，這可能會促使他們創造性地思考。

New Leaders, Move Slower Than You Think You Should

When you start a leadership role, there’s pressure to prove yourself by getting off to a quick start and delivering early wins. But if people sense that you’re making a change without thinking it through — or getting their input — you’re unlikely to be successful. That’s why you need to slow down, especially in your interactions.

When talking with new colleagues, repeat what you hear, both to confirm your understanding and to demonstrate that you’re listening. Ask the group reflective questions such as, “What just happened here?” and “What could we learn from that?” These questions force a pause, preventing a discussion from rushing to a decision. And don’t be afraid to use silence.

Pausing before you speak gives you a chance to weigh alternatives and decide on the best way to respond. It also pushes others to wonder what’s going through your mind, which may cause them to think more creatively. 

要啟動一個大項目，從小做起

通常，一個項目面臨的最大挑戰就是啟動。把自己推到門檻上，想想你可以採取的第一個小步驟。

它可能是拿起電話，打電話給需要你輸入的人，或者坐在椅子上寫報告的第一句話。然後計畫一個時間和地點來做這件事：“星期二上午9點，我會坐在辦公桌旁，打開一張空白的檔案，然後寫。”

開始一些艱苦的事情會帶來不舒服的感覺；你可能會經歷不安全感（“我不能這麼做”）或者拖延的衝動（“我應該檢查郵件”）。但是保持紀律：你不能控制你是否感覺到這些事情，但你可以控制你是否對他們採取行動。

記住，不管項目有多大，向它開始過渡可能是一個簡單的小步驟。一旦你開始，你會感覺好多了。

To Finally Start That Big Project, Start Small

Often the biggest challenge with a project is just getting started. To push yourself over the threshold, think about a small first step you can take.

It might be picking up the phone and calling someone whose input you need, or sitting down in a chair and writing the first sentence of a report. Then plan a time and place to do it: “At 9 AM on Tuesday, I’ll sit at my desk, open a blank document, and write.”

Starting something hard can bring up feelings of discomfort; you might experience insecurity (“I can’t do this”) or an impulse to procrastinate (“I should probably check email”). But stay disciplined: You can’t control whether you feel these things, but you can control whether you act on them.

And remember, no matter how big the project is, the transition to beginning it can be a small, easy step. Once you get started, you’ll feel a lot better. 

以艱難的回饋作為自我反思的機會

聽到負面的回饋是會令人難過的，但它不必是讓你靈魂破碎的。當你的經理或同事指出你需要改進的事情時，在你做出反應之前先想一想。即使收到的是令人不安的或令人驚訝的，提醒自己，這是有用的資訊。一個簡單、有效的方法是考慮將你所聽到的，是將感情投放出來。

舉個例子，在一次關鍵的績效評估之後，你可以對自己說：“我感覺自己被蒙眼了，有點害怕。”說出你的情緒可以防止它們壓倒你根據回饋而採取行動的能力。

然後問一些值得信賴的人，他們是否同意你的經理或同事所說的話。一般很難知道別人是如何看待我們的，所以獲得多個不同的觀點，會幫助你理解你給他人的印象。它也會遏制你根據一個人的意見而過度糾正——畢竟，別人給的回饋有時就是那麼一回事，不必太在意。

Use Tough Feedback as an Opportunity for Self-Reflection

Negative feedback is tough to hear, but it doesn’t have to be soul-crushing. When your manager or a colleague points out something you need to improve on, think before you react. Even if the input is upsetting or surprising, remind yourself that it’s useful information to have. One simple, effective way to consider what you’ve heard is to put your feelings into words.

For example, after a critical performance review, you might say to yourself, “I feel blindsided and a little scared.” Naming your emotions can keep them from overwhelming your ability to act on the feedback.

Then ask a few trustworthy sources whether they agree with what your manager or colleague said. It can be hard to know how others see us, so getting multiple points of view will help you understand the impression you create. It will also prevent you from overcorrecting based on one person’s opinion — which, after all, is what feedback sometimes is. 

當你做回馈时，你也會傾聽嗎？

作為管理者，你的工作就是給出回馈。但是如果你希望你的員工真的聽到你說的話，你也需要傾聽。主管的細心、非判斷性傾聽，可以使員工更放鬆、更自我意識和更少的防禦。

下一次當你輔導某人時，仔細聆聽並仔細思考他們所說的每一件事。不要急於下結論或打斷別人的話。給人空間來表達自己，並問好問題，鼓勵他們繼續交談。

當人們感覺到別人真的聽到他們時，他們更有可能敞開心扉。用眼神交流和肢體語言來表明你專注於你的員工，並希望聽到他們的想法。避免提出問題的解決方案。

即使是做回馈，你的作用應該是幫助員工發現解決方案本身。

When You Give Feedback, Do You Listen, Too?

As a manager, your job is to give feedback. But if you want your employees to really hear what you’re saying, you need to listen, too. A manager’s attentive, nonjudgmental listening makes an employee more relaxed, more self-aware, and less defensive.

The next time you’re coaching someone, listen carefully and thoughtfully to everything they say. Don’t jump to conclusions or interrupt. Give the person space to express themselves, and ask good questions to encourage them to keep talking.

When people sense that others are truly hearing them, they’re much more likely to open up. Use eye contact and body language to signal that you’re focused on your employee and want to hear their thoughts. And refrain from suggesting solutions to problems.

Even with feedback, your role should be to help the employee discover solutions themselves. 

在開會之前，先對房間內察言觀色

在工作中的每一次談話中，都會有明確的討論（大聲說出的話）和默契的談話——微妙的交流。知道如何對房間內的人們察言觀色是很重要的，這樣你就可以明白不能說什麼。

做到這一點最好的辦法是關注其中的人。注意誰在誰旁邊，誰在放鬆，誰看來緊張，誰站著，誰坐著。看看他們的面部表情、姿勢和肢體語言。房間裏的氣氛是緊張的還是放鬆的？然後思考同事情緒狀態的可能原因。他們的生活和工作中發生了什麼？

如果你不認識房間裏的人，這可能很棘手，但你仍然可以提出假設。然後通過與同事私下交談來檢驗這些假設。你可能會說，“在會議上，我看到你皺眉頭時，討論轉向大項目。你覺得怎麼樣？“

Read the Room Before Your Next Meeting

In every conversation at work, there’s the explicit discussion (the words being spoken out loud) and the tacit one — the things being communicated subtly. It’s important to know how to read a room so that you can understand what’s not being said.

The best way to do this is to pay attention to the people in it. Note who’s next to whom, who’s relaxed, who’s not, who’s standing, and who’s sitting. Look at their facial expressions, posture, and body language. Does the mood in the room feel tense, or relaxed? Then think about possible reasons for your colleagues’ emotional states. What’s happening in their lives and jobs?

This can be tricky if you don’t know the people in the room, but you can still come up with hypotheses. Then check those hypotheses by talking to colleagues in private. You might say something like, “In the meeting I saw you furrow your brow when discussion turned to the big project. How do you feel about it?”

與完美主義者合作時設定界限

和完美主義者一起工作會讓人筋疲力盡。他們堅持不懈的標準會導致不必要的壓力、衝突和錯過最後期限。那麼，你是如何與他們合作的呢？

首先，不要把他們的期望內化。完美主義者傾向於把時間和質量等同起來，所以當你認為一個項目足够好被考慮完成時，你需要在思考原因時要有思想和交往。談談把時間花在其他任務上的好處，而不是把每一個細節都放在這件事上。你也應該設定界限，這樣同事的挑剔就不會妨礙你的進步。

例如，如果這個人給你發了很多電子郵件，每封郵件都有不同的問題或建議，你可能决定每天回復一次。

最後，關注你的工作關係。有一個牢固的關係會減輕你同事的焦慮，這往往是完美主義的根本原因。

Set Boundaries When Collaborating with a Perfectionist

It can be exhausting to work with perfectionists. Their unrelenting standards can lead to unnecessary stress, conflict, and missed deadlines. So how do you collaborate productively with them?

To start, don’t internalize their expectations. Perfectionists tend to equate time with quality, so when you think a project is good enough to be considered done, you’ll need to be thoughtful and diplomatic in explaining why. Talk about the benefits of spending time on other tasks instead of getting every detail right on this one. You should also set boundaries so that your colleague’s nitpicking doesn’t interfere with your progress.

For example, if the person sends you a lot of emails, each with a different question or suggestion, you might decide to respond once per day.

And finally, focus on building your working relationship. Having a strong relationship will assuage your colleague’s anxiety, which is often the root cause of perfectionism. 

如果你需要被邀請參加一個大會議，證明你自己

我們經常設法减少參加會議的次數。但有時你覺得必須參加一個重要的會議。為了證明你應該在房間裏，要積極主動。

首先客觀地思考你為什麼沒有被邀請。是會議組織者的疏忽還是有意的决定？問問自己，你能為討論做些什麼樣的貢獻。你將如何推進會議的目標，你如何向組織者說清楚？

然後評估你的工作風格。你可能因為別人對你的看法而被排除在外，也許你不被認為是一個好的傾聽者或合作者。考慮向你的同事回饋你的行為，然後做出必要的轉變，這樣別人才能欣賞你帶來的東西。

一旦你採取了這些步驟，你就會有更好的機會來確保你的邀請。

If You Need to Be Invited to That Big Meeting, Prove It

We often try to cut down on the number of meetings we have. But sometimes you need to get into an important meeting. To prove you should be in the room, be proactive.

Start by thinking objectively about why you weren’t invited. Was it an oversight, or an intentional decision by the meeting organizer? Ask yourself what unique contribution you can make to the discussion. How will you advance the goal of the meeting, and how can you make that clear to the organizer?

Then assess your work style. You may have been left out because of the way others perceive you—perhaps you aren’t seen as a good listener or collaborator. Consider asking your peers for feedback on how you act and then making the necessary shifts so that others can appreciate what you bring.

Once you’ve taken these steps, you’ll be in a better position to secure that invitation.

停止霸佔會議中的談話

當你主持一個會議時，很有吸引力。畢竟，你把每個人都召集到一起，對吧？但沒有人會想去參加一個只有獨白的會議。，如果你獨佔會議時間，你不可能得到你所需要的。

為了讓自己保持冷靜，試試三種戰術。

1. 做筆記並堅持下去。給自己一個時間限制，把你要說的話濃縮成那麼多時間。
2. 提前發送議程。告訴那些你尊重的人你希望他們會說話，然後在會上拜訪他們。
3. 在房間裏到處走動，和每個人都有交談的機會。有些人會通過，但至少他們有機會——不必打斷你的話。

Stop Dominating the Conversation in Your Meetings

When you’re leading a meeting, it’s tempting to hold the floor. After all, you called everyone together, right? But no one wants to go to a meeting where one person talks the whole time, and you’re unlikely to get what you need from the group if you’re delivering a monologue.

To keep yourself in check, try three tactics.

1. Make notes and stick to them. Give yourself a time limit, and condense what you have to say into that amount of time.
2. Send the agenda around in advance. Tell people whose opinions you respect that you are hoping they will speak up, and then call on them during the meeting.
3. Go around the room and everyone has an opportunity to talk. Some people will pass, but at least they were given the chance — and didn’t have to interrupt you to get a word in. 

不要讓一個有害的同伴吞下你的團隊

一個有害的人就是摧毀一個高績效團隊的全部。如果你是團隊的領導者，處理一個有毒的員工是（相對）直截了當的：承認他們的行為的影響，並把他們保持在一個更高的標準。但是如果這個人是你的同齡人呢？

首先，和他們坦誠交談。解釋行為對你和團體的影響。

下一步，成為你想要團隊行動的榜樣。為團隊製定標準和合作。

最後，和你的老闆談談。建議團隊召開會議來解决挑戰性的行為和衝突。這個會話不應該是一個詭計，用來批評這位有害的團隊成員。

它應該是一個真實的互動，團隊成員討論彼此的觀點，並圍繞新的責任與應有的行為。

Don’t Let a Toxic Peer Take Down Your Team

One toxic person is all it takes to destroy a high-performing team. If you’re the team leader, dealing with a toxic employee is (relatively) straightforward: Acknowledge the effect their behavior is having and hold them to a higher standard. But what if the person is your peer?

First, have a candid conversation with them. Explain the effect the behavior is having on you and on the group.

Next, be a role model for how you want the team to act. Make collaboration and open dialogue the standards for the group.

And finally, talk to your boss. Suggest that the team hold a meeting to address challenging behaviors and conflicts. This session should not be a ruse for taking the toxic team member to task.

做出一個更容易接受的艱難决策

每個領導者都必須做出艱難的决策，這些决策會對他們的組織、名譽和事業產生影響。當你面臨一個棘手的問題時，考慮使這些决策變得困難的兩件事：結果的不確定性和價值的複雜性，你做出的任何選擇都會對某人產生負面影響。

為了减少決策中的不確定性，首先考慮不採取行動的成本，然後仔細考慮你的選擇。你做過任何阻礙你的假設嗎？有低風險、小規模的方法來測試你的選擇嗎？

要處理價值的複雜性，考慮一下你如何幫助人們理解你的决定。特別是當决定涉及到影響他人的權衡時，你會希望盡可能清楚地瞭解你的意圖。

Make a Tough Decision Easier to Accept

Every leader has to make hard decisions that have consequences for their organization, their reputation, and their career. When you’re faced with a tough call, consider two things that make these decisions so difficult: uncertainty about the outcome and value complexity, the notion that any choice you make will negatively affect someone.

To reduce the uncertainty in a decision, first consider the costs of not acting, and then think carefully about your options. Have you made any assumptions that are holding you back? Are there low-risk, small-scale ways to test your options?

To handle value complexity, consider how you can help people understand your decision once you make it. Especially when the decision involves trade-offs that will affect others, you’ll want to be as clear as possible about your intentions.