以艱難的回饋作為自我反思的機會

聽到負面的回饋是會令人難過的，但它不必是讓你靈魂破碎的。當你的經理或同事指出你需要改進的事情時，在你做出反應之前先想一想。即使收到的是令人不安的或令人驚訝的，提醒自己，這是有用的資訊。一個簡單、有效的方法是考慮將你所聽到的，是將感情投放出來。

舉個例子，在一次關鍵的績效評估之後，你可以對自己說：“我感覺自己被蒙眼了，有點害怕。”說出你的情緒可以防止它們壓倒你根據回饋而採取行動的能力。

然後問一些值得信賴的人，他們是否同意你的經理或同事所說的話。一般很難知道別人是如何看待我們的，所以獲得多個不同的觀點，會幫助你理解你給他人的印象。它也會遏制你根據一個人的意見而過度糾正——畢竟，別人給的回饋有時就是那麼一回事，不必太在意。

Use Tough Feedback as an Opportunity for Self-Reflection

Negative feedback is tough to hear, but it doesn’t have to be soul-crushing. When your manager or a colleague points out something you need to improve on, think before you react. Even if the input is upsetting or surprising, remind yourself that it’s useful information to have. One simple, effective way to consider what you’ve heard is to put your feelings into words.

For example, after a critical performance review, you might say to yourself, “I feel blindsided and a little scared.” Naming your emotions can keep them from overwhelming your ability to act on the feedback.

Then ask a few trustworthy sources whether they agree with what your manager or colleague said. It can be hard to know how others see us, so getting multiple points of view will help you understand the impression you create. It will also prevent you from overcorrecting based on one person’s opinion — which, after all, is what feedback sometimes is. 

當你做回馈时，你也會傾聽嗎？

作為管理者，你的工作就是給出回馈。但是如果你希望你的員工真的聽到你說的話，你也需要傾聽。主管的細心、非判斷性傾聽，可以使員工更放鬆、更自我意識和更少的防禦。

下一次當你輔導某人時，仔細聆聽並仔細思考他們所說的每一件事。不要急於下結論或打斷別人的話。給人空間來表達自己，並問好問題，鼓勵他們繼續交談。

當人們感覺到別人真的聽到他們時，他們更有可能敞開心扉。用眼神交流和肢體語言來表明你專注於你的員工，並希望聽到他們的想法。避免提出問題的解決方案。

即使是做回馈，你的作用應該是幫助員工發現解決方案本身。

When You Give Feedback, Do You Listen, Too?

As a manager, your job is to give feedback. But if you want your employees to really hear what you’re saying, you need to listen, too. A manager’s attentive, nonjudgmental listening makes an employee more relaxed, more self-aware, and less defensive.

The next time you’re coaching someone, listen carefully and thoughtfully to everything they say. Don’t jump to conclusions or interrupt. Give the person space to express themselves, and ask good questions to encourage them to keep talking.

When people sense that others are truly hearing them, they’re much more likely to open up. Use eye contact and body language to signal that you’re focused on your employee and want to hear their thoughts. And refrain from suggesting solutions to problems.

Even with feedback, your role should be to help the employee discover solutions themselves. 

在開會之前，先對房間內察言觀色

在工作中的每一次談話中，都會有明確的討論（大聲說出的話）和默契的談話——微妙的交流。知道如何對房間內的人們察言觀色是很重要的，這樣你就可以明白不能說什麼。

做到這一點最好的辦法是關注其中的人。注意誰在誰旁邊，誰在放鬆，誰看來緊張，誰站著，誰坐著。看看他們的面部表情、姿勢和肢體語言。房間裏的氣氛是緊張的還是放鬆的？然後思考同事情緒狀態的可能原因。他們的生活和工作中發生了什麼？

如果你不認識房間裏的人，這可能很棘手，但你仍然可以提出假設。然後通過與同事私下交談來檢驗這些假設。你可能會說，“在會議上，我看到你皺眉頭時，討論轉向大項目。你覺得怎麼樣？“

Read the Room Before Your Next Meeting

In every conversation at work, there’s the explicit discussion (the words being spoken out loud) and the tacit one — the things being communicated subtly. It’s important to know how to read a room so that you can understand what’s not being said.

The best way to do this is to pay attention to the people in it. Note who’s next to whom, who’s relaxed, who’s not, who’s standing, and who’s sitting. Look at their facial expressions, posture, and body language. Does the mood in the room feel tense, or relaxed? Then think about possible reasons for your colleagues’ emotional states. What’s happening in their lives and jobs?

This can be tricky if you don’t know the people in the room, but you can still come up with hypotheses. Then check those hypotheses by talking to colleagues in private. You might say something like, “In the meeting I saw you furrow your brow when discussion turned to the big project. How do you feel about it?”